freakishly fast

I am sitting in the doctors office. It's a pretty big waiting area and it set up very nice. I have been here only once before. As I am waiting for my name to be called, I can't help but notice that everyone else sitting here is kinda old. I mean old, like in their 70's. Like, all of them have someone younger (closer to my age) waiting with them.
(I know you think I am exaggerating about their age, but I'm not)
I don't know why, but this makes me feel so sad. I almost start to tear up -- but then I force myself to stop. The last thing I want to be doing is crying in here.
Am I upset because they seem so frail?
Or am I feeling sorry for myself because it is so lame that I am sitting here too?

I have never had a regular doctor, never needed one. When I was in my 20's I would usually see a nurse practitioner and more than once they mentioned that I had a fast heart rate. Low blood pressure and a fast heart rate. They often even asked if I was nervous to be there -- I wasn't.
So I knew this was unusual, but I never really thought about it.
It was remarked upon during my pregnancies, but again, it was in passing, until the last one.

My experience with OBs spans (omg!) 14 years. I had the same one for the first two, and hardly any tests. I mean, I even only had one ultrasound with DJ!

me with DJ :)

 I know they must check for more things now than they did then, because it couldn't just be my AGE as to why I had many more test and ultrasounds with the last two --

hrmmmfph

With Mikey, I was um, turning 40 (for the first time) and I think I had a bazillion ultrasounds and doctor appointments. Since I went so many times and had my freakishly fast heart rate noticed by the same people, they made me check it out with another doctor for an EKG.
Those guys said it was fast.
That was it.

Now for the first time ever, I have a regular doctor, not just an OB and she is all up in arms over my tachycardia. She gives me another EKG and brings in another doctor. They are both stumped. Nobody knows why I have this, but they pretty much want me to stop doing things that might get my heart rate up until they can get me in to see a specialist.
I have to admit, they sort of scared me. I stopped walking to the park, going to get coffee and even just strolling with Mikey while Kelly was at ballet.

Did you know that when it's something non life threatening, it takes FOREVER to get an appointment to see a cardiologist. Like months --
so after waiting a good long time, I go in to see this newest doctor, have another EKG and guess what?

I have a really fast heart rate.

He does explain that it's one of two things, I either have a weakness in my heart, that I have had my whole life or an unexplained fast heart rate.

Seriously. He said "unexplained".

Now I get to have an echocardiogram,
and I get to feel awful sitting in the waiting room waiting to go in and have it done.

And THEN I get to wait another week to see the doctor again -- just so he can explain to me how my freakishly fast heart is (most likely) cannot be explained.

I just want to be done with this.